Friday, 1 June 2012

Are single parents happy?

I was perusing my stats the other day and saw that a few people had found us by searching 'are single parents happy'. It made me sit back and think about the general questions that we ask.

I have a friend who is pregnant at the moment and when I talk to her about life after baby it really makes me think about how things will be for her than they were for me. Hindsight is a great thing, but my experience isn't really going to tell you what your life will be like. Everyone's lives are different.

I really struggled with the decision to leave Kit's father (yup, I don't know if I've said that on here before - I left Kit's dad). I left him when I was pregnant. And then towards the end of my pregnancy I asked if we could move in together to work it out because I wanted Kit to have the best possible for him and I thought that meant having a full-time Dad. Six months in, utterly depressed, I left him again. I still haven't come to terms with removing Kit from his father. I moved back to down the road from where his Dad bought a house so he could see Kit more and I invest far too much time and effort into trying to facilitate that. My only advice on single parenting is, generally on the bigger issues, what is best for your child is what makes you happy. A happy mummy = happy child.

If I could go back and do it again, would I do it different? Would I have stayed single and followed my gut when I was pregnant. Not have paniced about 'breaking' my childs home and wanting to do what was best for my baby by sacrificing my happiness? Probably not. Time travel is great and all that, but I'd still have been the same person in that of time. And anyone reading this is who they are. I can't tell you if you'll be happy or not.

Am I happy now I'm single? Most of the time yes. I'm exhausted, frustrated, lonely, and tired. But when I hear the words 'Mummy, I love you lots and lots and lots' I think, I don't need anything more than this. And you know what, my kid is alright. He's happy too.

1 comment:

  1. I definitely agree on the happy Mum, happy child. A house where people are not getting along, or arguing all the time is not a happy place. I have so many friends who are single but have worked so hard at keeping things right for their children, and this is easier said than done. I really admire them and you for managing to do this, it takes great commitment.



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